Archive: Objects Around My House. Part 9.

People of Colorado vs. Rutledge:

I got a new object in my house today. And there is a bit of a story behind it.

Some of you may know about my incarceration over the holidays. If not, here is the brief: I got pulled over going 8 miles over the limit in Burlington, Colorado. Little did I know that my license was suspended. “Suspended for what?”, I ask my self as I am being handcuffed on the side of the road and taken to jail. I find out later it was suspended because a car I once owned, long ago, was late for a emissions test. Yes… emissions.

This is what I look like in jail:

I post bail, go home, then find out that I MUST go to court in Colorado so that I can be sentenced to jail, 5 days minimum, 6 months max. I thought I would just pay a fine and all would be done. A lawyer and 4 months of various court proceedings later, I am a free man and this arrives in the mail:

Yes! a check from colorado. Not only am I free from those speed-trapping assholes, but I am getting my money back. Booyah!

Look how beautiful this is:

It shall all be spent recklessly and in as many illegal ways as possible. And so it shall be.

I especially liked the notations on the check. Such as this one:

It’s like David vs. Goliath, or Rocky vs. Communism.

COLORADO vs. RUTLEDGE

RUTLEDGE CONQUERS. And so it was.

Check back for more tales and anecdotes from “Objects Around My House”